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02.09.2012

Gratitude.

It seems rather normal for nowadays to feel so much envy, hatred and jealousy. It is really interesting to observe people's reactions and feelings when they see you live your life just as it is meant to be lived. Some do not understand the happiness in living life. Some do not care if they hurt others through their actions or reactions. Some pretend a lot. Some think they are the puppet masters of a play directed and written by them. Some are very wrong. Some people dance in their own misery and dirt and feel accomplished by spreading this filth around them towards other beings. Some come to you with good intentions, so they can later express their envy in rather, perfidious ways.

The human treachery is a relative concept. Some think you betray them, while you really do not have any connection of some kind with them, hence, there is no betrayal. Some people don't see across their own fate, so they think everything you do is related to them. Some people don't argue, but they chitchat and gossip a lot. Some people express their feeling in writing, because they do not have the guts to show their true intentions- rather malicious ones- in order to not lose the people they manage to ass kiss for a long period of time.

The individual as it is, represents a great creation of a higher being. But this does not mean, humans must show their obsessions, hatred, or self pity to others around them. What you do in life, reflects always, in a mirror, on the ones near you, and even in your own existence. If you fuck up, and don't acknowledge it, and don't try to solve your personal issues and complaints, you will never, but ever influence and persuade the ones around you. There are lots of questions regarding this matter.

Why people hate so much? Why do they feel jealous when they don't have to? Why people are sarcastic, evil, pretentious and why do they feel everything is about them? Why do they take everything so bloody personal? Why is there so much envy and deception out there? I honestly don't care. It does not affect me personally, or the ones I love and cherish. But still, it annoys the hell out of me, to see petty little persons trying to get under someone's skin, by playing perverted little games, by talking much more than they have too, by lying and cheating their way on a job, or in someone's heart.


Posers are everywhere- that is a fact. But at least they have the good will to not mess with anyone's life. But some of them, which I cannot call posers, nor wannabes, just petty little humans, self involved and egotistical,  some of them, are really cruel, don't give a fuck, well..actually give a fuck..if they think they are the main character in a situation. People like this mess up regular happy humans. Mess up their lives, their minds, their behavior. 


I am happy with who I am, what I have reached so far, who I've helped until now, happy with who I've influenced and changed for the better, happy with my results, my family, my friends, my personal life. I am so happy that these problems discussed in the lines above, aren't yet affecting me. But I do feel compassion, mercy, and regret, for the ones that cannot open their eyes to the future, for the ones that live in the past, and refuse to get over it, to learn more, do more, be better people. Oh poor you! You have not yet discovered the meaning of life, nor love! For hell's sake, do it for the ones dear to you if not for you- stop being an absolute moron and live your own existence.


Reading a book, doesn't make you an intellectual, knowing art, doesn't make you an artist , having a steady job, doesn't make you a worker, playing an instrument doesn't make you a musician, having a pet doesn't make you an animal lover, talking about general notions and using metaphoric phrases does not make you a philosopher, but hating people, envying them, being constantly jealous of them, makes you a small person, under our feet, a person in need to be crushed or elevated- depending on their hearts and spirits. Is there anything left to save inside of you?

13.08.2012

NU.

Nu imi place sa strang asternuturile singura. Nu imi place sa aud cuvinte rele. Nu imi place sa plec undeva unde trebuie sa fiu la o anumita ora. Nu imi place sa pierd apusurile. Nu imi place sa vorbesc cu lume rau intentionata. Nu imi plac certurile. Nu imi plac minciunile. Nu imi place inselaciunea. Nu imi plac falsitatile. Nu imi plac norii negrii. Nu imi place soarele arzator. Nu imi plac furtunile. Nu imi plac oamenii care ranesc animale. Nu imi plac sentimentalismele exagerate. Nu imi place sa pierd timpul. Nu imi place sa stau degeaba. Nu imi place griul. Nu imi place bumbacul. Nu imi place sa nu am tigari. Nu imi place sa plang. Nu imi place sa fiu suparata. Nu imi place sa fiu prea fericita. Nu imi plac incertitudinile. Nu imi place rutina. Nu imi place kitschul. Nu imi place. Nu imi place sa scriu mult. Nu imi place sa fiu departe.

Imi placi doar tu si ce vine cu tine. Atat.

31.07.2012

Everysingletime

I smile when it rains. I smile when it's sunny. Sometimes I smile when I see you, sometimes I smile for no reason, but I smile. I smile every day and every night, and in my sleep I smile more. Cause I'm alive. I smile when I'm pissed off too- makes my enemies confused. So I smile. I smile all the fucking time.

27.07.2012

Scrum

Si am lasat sa cada scrumul pe mine.Vezi tu...nimic nu mai conta. M-am ars. S-a vazut. Era imposibil sa nu se vada. Am apucat tigara aia cu atata pasiune de parca imi oferea raspunsul la toate nedumeririle mele si raspunsul la toate intrigile lor. Am tras fumul in plamani atat de puternic incat pentru o secunda am simtit cum mor. Si rau nu imi parea, ca poate asa iti eram iar aproape. Am expirat naucirea aceea pe moment realizand ca nu am cum muri astfel. Este nedemn. Am continuat sa merg si sa trag din tigara de parca era tot ce mai puteam sa fac sa observi. Nu cer atentie stii doar, dar cer un strop de "Imi pasa!" sau "Mi-a pasat odata!" Nu mai ai asa ceva pentru mine deloc, nici tu nici ceilalti. Pentru ca m-am ars si nu mai conteaza altceva. Am tras un ultim fum, vazandu-te prin prisma acea innegurata, analizandu-ti fiecare privire sperand ca se indreapta spre directia din care venea fumul. Nu a fost asa, dar nici nu ma asteptam de fapt, doar speram. Inlauntru simt cum mi se inegresc organele, imi crapa inima de dor si plamani nu te pot respira nicicum. Pentru ca nu esti aici si nici nu ai fost. Voi fuma cate o tigara pentru tine, pana vei aparea in calea mea din nou. Imi este dor, dar stiu ca de fapt, nu am de ce. Nu ai existat, ai fost un vis, o capcana, o speranta de bine- si te-ai spulberat odata cu aparitia soarelui verii. Voi fuma, iar scrumul ma va arde, imi va lasa semne in piele si suflet, pana cand tu ma vei opri. Nu mai am altceva decat scrum. 

26.07.2012

Remembrance of a time

The grip, the words, the acts, the thoughts. 
The eyes, the smile, the move, the don'ts
The hate, the love, the kiss, the yell
The way you took my hand and ran

The car, the air, the sounds, the storm
The wind that blows and gives us warmth
The snow, the light, the feelings inside
I miss all of these, I miss you tonight.

The skin, the hair, the jokes, the hell
The jeans, the dark, the silence it brought
The music, the calm, the ears and the mouth
I miss all of these, that now bring me harm

The sun, the waves, the sand and the noise
The summer that is, the winter that was
The now and the then, never the same
I miss my dear autumn, I miss you again

The prince, the fighter, the warrior of hell
The one who could carry and bring me in bed
The stare, the hold, too strong to be fought
Only Gods now, I miss you a lot.

06.07.2012

July flame

It's been a time when things were so easy and so delightful. Wonderful and exciting. There are more times like this to come. Plenty of time left. Let it fill your heart with love, joy, excitment, stability, emotion and beauty. Be you, be me, be us, be forever. No matter the distance, the hours, the sky above or ground beneath. Just simply Be here with me. In spirit.